George Carlin 6/22/08

Yep later this week there will be a CITW for Carlin.


Couldn't do Carlin justice so no CITW for the legend.

Harvey Korman May 29, 2008

Well I full intended to write a CITW Remix for Harvey Korman, but he only did two things of note in his acting career so sorry no CITW. Admittedly his Blazing Saddles and Carol Burnett stuff was pretty damn good but that's about all he did.

R.I.P. Harvey

Heath Ledger 1/22/08

Well young Australian actor Heath Ledger passed away earlier today. I actaully did two different versions of the CITW because until I looked at his imdb I didn't remember he was in Monster's Ball. The original version is about his career I did remember and no I didn't do a bad Brokeback Mountain joke. If you don't get the second version go back and watch Monster's Ball again and you'll know what I'm talking about. Heath Ledger playing The Joker is still the part I'm most looking forward to seeing in any movie this year that I haven't seen already. When I saw they cast him in that part I thought he could do a pretty bang up job because of his acting chops. RIP Heath.


Goodbye Heath Ledger
Though I knew you pretty well
Saw you play a knight long ago
Quite a career history would tell
You crawled out from down under
With a dream in your hand
Then Jack Twist said,
“I wish I knew how to quit you.” again.

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Can’t wait to see the Dark Knight
Cause you’ll do the Joker right my friend
And I would have liked to have known you
So would my little kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your short impressive acting career ever did

or

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Don’t remember you in Monster’s Ball
But the scene with the bird cage I surely did
And I would have liked to have known you
So would my little kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your short impressive acting career ever did

Legendary Coach Bill Walsh 7/30/07

Former 49ers coach and GM died today. I was, and still to some extent, a big Niners fan back in the day so I watched a lot of the Walsh era 49ers. The developer of the West Coast offense that is pretty much the standard offense in the NFL done by Walsh in San Francisco. I'm still writing up my DC Ramblings so I don't have a Candle version for Bill Walsh.

Director Ingmar Bergman also passed away today I don't think I ever saw one of his films, I was probably too busy watching 49ers football.

Charles Nelson Reilly 5/29/07

Perennial 70's game show paneist Charles Nelson Reilly passed away this weekend. I'm here to admit that I did actually watch a little Match Game this weekend on the Game Show Network. There are really three reasons to watch the reruns 1) The little Gene Rayburn mic 2) the panelists smoking on some episodes 3) that awesom Match Game theme which puts the Jeopardy tune to shame. Alec Baldwin did a real funny Charles Nelson Reilly on "The Actors Studio" on SNL a few years back. R.I.P. Charles

Goodbye Charles Nelson Reilly
Gene Rayburn knew you pretty well
You had the grace to wear those scarves
Match Game reruns sure would tell
You crawled out of nowhere
With a goofy schtick in your hand
Became a 70’s icon
Look Match Game rerun once again

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing when to make
Sexual innuendo jokes on the panel once again
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Gene Rayburn like mic ever did

Tom Poston 5/2/07

Tom Poston passed away recently. He had appearred on a bunch of differnt sitcoms mostly. Aside from that I have nothing.

Calvert DeForest a.k.a Larry "Bud" Melman 3/21/07

Well a late night icon has passed away. Letterman regular Calvert DeForest, or during his NBC days Larry "Bud" Melman has died. If you don't know who he was I can't really explain it, he was unintentionally funny. True story I met Calvert DeForest during my days at ISU, and even got his autograph. Yes I'm a dork and of course was first in line, I mean come on it was Larry "Bud" Melman. CBS had this tour that went around to colleges and pimped CBS shows and products and stuff and he was there one year. Here's the story of his death from the NY Times:








Calvert DeForest, 85, Larry (Bud) Melman on ‘Letterman,’ Dies
By JENNIFER 8. LEE
Published: March 22, 2007


Calvert G. DeForest, the dweebish man who gained cult status on David Letterman’s late-night shows as the comic figure Larry (Bud) Melman precisely because he was not funny, died Monday in Babylon, Long Island. He was 85.
He suffered from a long illness, according to a statement by Mr. Letterman, on whose shows Mr. DeForest appeared dozens of times.
For 20 years Mr. DeForest drew laughs simply for being the odd juxtaposition in an industry marked by smooth personalities and slender bodies. His appearances on Mr. Letterman’s shows ranged from being a “correspondent” at the Winter Olympics in Lillehammer, Norway, to handing out hot towels at the Port Authority bus terminal in Manhattan, to doing bad impersonations of Ronald Reagan, Barbra Streisand and Elvis Presley.
“Everyone always wondered if Calvert was an actor playing a character, but in reality he was just himself — a genuine, modest and nice man,” Mr. Letterman said in his statement.
Mr. DeForest’s late-blossoming television career began with a New York University student film project called “King of the Zs,” which was screened for Mr. Letterman before the 1982 debut of his show, then on NBC. Mr. Letterman, taken by Mr. DeForest, asked his staff members to track him down. They found him working as a file clerk at a drug rehabilitation center. He was picked up by a black limousine, given his stage name, and became the first image of “Late Night With David Letterman,” before the opening credits on the debut episode.

R.I.P Calvert

Goodbye Calvert DeForest
Thought I knew you pretty well
You had the grace on late night TV
History sure would tell
You crawled out of nowhere
NBC kept your name
With your deadpan delivery
Late night won’t be the same again

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Wearing a dark suit
Doing that goofy laugh once again
And I would have liked to know you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
My Calvert DeForest autograph ever did

Anna Nicole Smith--2/8/07

Anna Nicole Smith known for not really accomplishing much in life died yesterday. She shot to fame first in Playboy and then for marrying a guy with one foot already in the grave. She had a reality show, has had a case go to the Supreme Court and was a snake oil pitchwoman at the end of her life. For some reason I felt the need to write two versions of the CITW Remix who knows why. Just another famous person who really was famous for nothing really. Its so much easier to write these things when an actor dies and actually has a decent career, but whatever here you go. I have a theory of what killed her I think it was a combination of Trimspa and extremely old man co.....well you can probably figure it out.

Goodbye Anna Nicole
Controversy knew you pretty well
You showed your stuff in Playboy
Married a rich grandpa history will tell
You crawled out of a fast food joint
With a dream in your hand
Had sex with an old dude
Then swindle him out of money again

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never know when to go
And get skinny once again
And it seemed like I did know you
An IQ like a kid
Your candle burned out long before
You unintelligible rambling ever did



Goodbye Anna Nicole
Trimspa knew you pretty well
You got fat and skinny again
“Trimspa, baby!” you would tell
You crawled out of nowhere
Got an E! show on your hands
I wondered what you were on
Talking in that baby voice again

And it seemed to me that you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Parlaying your fame
For doing nothing once again
And it seemed like I did know you
Since I was a high school kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your naked pictures ever did

Gerald Ford-12/27/06

Former President Gerald Ford also passed away recently. I don't know too much about the Ford presidency except that he took over when the Watergate fiasco took place. Ford was president when I was a wee lad in the suburbs of Chicago. I think that Ford is an ex-president
that is actually was a better ex-president then when they were in office. Look at what Jimmy Carter has done since he was not re-elected, a lot more than he did when he was in there. It s a little hard to rip on an ex president with a CITW remix. Michigan legend Gerald Ford R.I.P.

Goodbye Gerald Ford
Politics knew you pretty well
Took over when Nixon screwed things up
And left the country not so swell
You crawled out of Michigan
With aspirations in your hand
Became a Michigan legend
Declared the nightmare over again

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Took over the office
When Agnew screwed up once again
And I would have liked to known you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
You good ex president tag ever did

James Brown-Music Icon 12/25/06

James Brown passed aaway over the holiday weekend. When I left work on Thursday I read he was in the hospital for pneumonia and he died over the weekend. James Brown is one of those guys who will be around forever beause his music will be sampld and redone over and over again. I have a singing James Brown that is about 18 inches high and belts out tunes, so yeah you could say I'm a fan. I got in JB references to some other things that remind me of the Godfather of Soul. The Eddie Murphy "James Brown Hot Tub Party" from SNL and while back and my love for all things Rocky (except Rocky V of course) when James Brtown sang Livin' in America at the fight before that evil Russian killed Apollo Creed. R.I.P. James

Goodbye James Brown
Thought I knew you pretty well
You had the great moves didn’t dance like a fool
Godfather of Soul all could tell
You crawled out of South Carolina
With a brand new bag
Became a music icon
At Apollo’s fight where he was dead

And it seemed to me that you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing when to do
The splits and get in the hot tub again
And I would have liked to known you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your dancing ever did

Peter Boyle 12/13/06

Long time actor Peter Boyle passed away today from reports I've seen. Most recently he was seen weekly on the TV show Everybody Loves Raymond. Personally my favorite role he was in was in the movie The Dream Team from like 10-15 years ago. The last line of the song refers to my bad Ray Romano impression that I do on occasion. R.I.P. Peter Boyle

Goodbye Peter Boyle
TV and movies knew you pretty well
You had the grace to play Ray’s dad
That show did pretty well
You crawled out of nowhere
With a dream in your hand
You were in Kickboxer 2
That movie was pretty bad

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing when to say
A smart remark to your TV wife as well
And I would have liked to have known you
Ray had all those kids
Your candle burned out long before
My bad Ray Romano impression ever did

Jack Palance 11/10/06

Goodbye Jack Palance
Hollywood knew you pretty well
You had the grace to do push ups
On the Oscars all would tell
You crawled out of nowhere
With a dream in your hand
Became a acting legend
Oh no not City Slickers again

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing when to say
"No" to a bad sequel again
And I would have liked to know you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
My dislike of Billy Crystal ever did

Steve Irwin--Crazy croc guy

Steve Irwin of Animal Planet fame was killed this past weekend. Not as I would have expected he wasn't attacked by a croc but rather a sting ray. From what I've heard of news reports the accident that happened is like a billion to one of it happening. The stinger part of the sting ray nailed him right in the heart, pretty crazy. Well I've spent many hours watching the good old Crocodile Hunter and will continue to in the future. R.I.P. Stever

Goodbye Steve Irwin
Thought I knew you pretty well
You had the grace to jump on crocs
Hoping not to get hurt we could tell
You crawled out of nowhere
With khaki clothes in your hand
Became an Animal Planet icon
Then you would wrestle so crocs again

And it seemed to me that you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing when to say
“Crickey!” yet again
And I would have liked to know you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your crazy actions ever did

Yes I know

I missed the Aaron Spelling CITW remix. I was out of town for a little while and working on wrapping up the writings on that stuff over at www.kevinsramblings.blogspot.com

Craig Heyward former NFL running back 5/30/06

Okay technically Craig Heyward probably wouldn't qualify for the Candle treatment except that he did play for the Bears for one season. He was on one of those bad Wannstedt teams back in the early 90's. I may be the only one who remembers that he actually had a deodorant commercial.


Goodbye Craig Heyward
Thought I knew you pretty well
You were playing for the Bears
When Wannestedt’s coaching smelled
You came out of Pitt
First round pick of the Saints you came
Became a big back
College greatness not attained again

And it seemed to my you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing when to stop
And lose the weight again
And I would have liked to know you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your deodorant commercial ever did.

Paul Gleason, The principal from The Breakfast Club 5/30/06

Popular 80's movie character Paul Gleason died. He's most famous as the teacher with the immpeciable fashion sense from The Breakfast Club. Let's face it that it takes a special guy to pull off the Saturday Night Fever suit. Anyway here it is and remember if you mess with the bull you're going to get the horns.

Goodbye Paul Gleason
No one really knew you well
You played the teacher in Breakfast Club
IMDB & history would tell
Bender crawled through the ceiling
With some weed in his hand
Became a 80’s icon
Seat cover stuck to your ass again

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing when to talk
With the janitor again
And I would have liked to know you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long after
Hair on Larry Lester’s buns ever did

Peter Tomarken Press Your Luck host 3/14/06

Peter Tomarken the host of the game show Press Your Luck died in a plane crash. He was trying to do some medical aid work taking someone from San Diego back to LA and his plane went into the ocean. He gained fame on a show which really took very little skill to play. Answer easy questions and then hope for no whammies. Well Peter maybe you can do a show with Rod Roddy in the after life.

Goodbye Peter Tomarken
Day time TV knew you pretty well
You had the grace to host a show
Where whammies would unleash hell
You crawled out of nowhere
With gimmick game shows in your hand
Became a TV regular
No whammies no whammies again

And it seemed to me that you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing when to say
STOP! At the game board again
And I would have liked to know you
But I was just a kid
Even stupid people could do well on your show
Just look at those who did


You can get on the email list for the citw remix and we'll email you every time a new one debuts. Just send an email to citwremix@yahoo.com with the name of your favorite day time game show. Don't worry we won't send you name to and African countries that are looking for you to help them transfer money from someone who died in a plane crash.

Kirby Puckett 3/6/06

Kirby Puckett famous Minnesota Twins outfielder died today. Sure he may not be a celebrity in some folks eyes but for baseball fans like your truly we always knew about Kirby. There's one leaping catch in the World Series that I refer to in the tune that I'm sure will be played ad nauseum when talking about him dying. It was up against the wall in the outfield in one of the World Series that the Twins won. I always admired Kirby cause he was a sorta fat guy. Him and John Kruk were the two main fat guys in baseball for a long time. Now only Kruk remains and still one of my all time favorites. Kruk once said, "I'm not an athlete I'm a baseball player." Well we have one less fat guy baseball player around Rest in Peace Kirby


Goodbye Kirby Puckett
Twins fans knew you pretty well
You looked like you like the buffet
You played the baseball very well
You crawled out of Chicago
With a mitt in your hand
Became a All Star regular
Helped the Twins win two my friend

And it seemed to me that you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing when to make
That leaping catch again
And it seemed like I knew you
Since I was a kid
Your candle burned out long after
Fat guys in baseball ever did

Remeber you can sign up for an email for every CITW Remix posted here by emailing the name of your favorite TV guilty pleasure to citwremix@yahoo.com

Don Knotts 2/26/06

Sitcom legend Don Knotts passed away. He's probably best known for playing Barney Fife on The Andy Griffith Show. I was more of a fan of his work as the sniffling swinging heip cat landlord on Three's Company. Rest in peace Don, its been a tough week at CITW headquarters.

Goodbye Don Knotts
Sitcom watchers knew you well
You played Barney Fife as a fool
Single bullet as Andy Griffin would tell
You crawled out of West Virginia
With a dream in your hand
Played a talking fish
Then Mr. Furley, Jack’s friend again

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing when to think
Jack was a gay guy again
And it seemed that I would know you
When I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
The Regal Beagle ever did

Darren McGavin 2/24/06 Ralphie's Dad

Darren McGavin who played the Dad in the Christmas classic "A Christmas Story" passed away. Granted he does fall below the Branigan line but he is in one of the all time great Christmas movie. Here is goes for Ralphie's dad.

Goodbye Darren McGavin
Holiday audiences knew you well
You played the dad in Christmas Story
You son Ralphie sure would tell
You crawled out of nowhere
You were a winner and a man
You won the special prize
Till if got broken once again

And it seemed to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Change that tire With Ralphie
He says the F word once again
And it seemed like I did know you
When I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Christmas dinner of Chinese ever did.